Stephen Hawking has shown how England can win the World Cup

I think World Cup fever in England has jumped the shark. Stephen Hawking, yes, THAT Stephen Hawking, has used his insane mental acumen to determine how England can win the World Cup.

Over at Paddy Power, Hawking has studied every World Cup match since England’s win in 1966 and come up with some incredible calculations for the English national team’s success in Brazil next month.

Some of the ways Hawking figures that England can succeed include having European referees, having matches in a temperate climate, playing at a lower altitude, and kicking off after 3 PM local time. Hawking also looks at the optimal technique for penalty kicks, determining that a run up of more than three steps, using the side foot rather than the laces, and placing the ball in the top right or left corner gives the team the best chance to score. Also, have blonde players take the shots – they have a better chance to score than bald and dark-haired players.

And after all that, guess what? Hawking is still taking Brazil to win, due in large part to the success that hosts have at winning each tournament (30%) and their history of winning the most World Cup titles. Not even the smartest man in the world can find a way to make England the favorite.

[Paddy Power]

About Joe Lucia

I hate your favorite team. I also sort of hate most of my favorite teams.